Friday, 6 October 2017

Being a Goth Mom with a school aged child

When I came back to Goth, many years ago, my son was in daycare. I slowly transitioned into Goth and some parents looked at me strange. I didn't really care. I never fit in with "normal" people anyway. At that time, my son went to a ritzy daycare. I showed up in my Pontiac while the majority of the other parents showed up in BMWs

My kid started kindergarten. This is another prestigious school. Yes, there were middle class families like ours but the majority lived in the rich neighborhood and dropped their kids off in BMWs and Mercedes. My son was labelled the bad kid at school because he stood up for himself against his bully.

Last year was hell. We complained to the school board because again, Philip did not fit into this convenient little box and well,he was very politely kicked out of school. You see, this isn't a private school but since he has a learning disability, the school conveniently "did not have sufficient resources to help him" which is a load of bullshit because it is law that all children are entitled to a free, public education here in Canada.

My kid is now at a special program where he is excelling and at a less prestigious school. He is now reading well on his own, although with some difficulty but is excelling at Math.

Turns out, another parent, who's child also attended the snobby upper class school went through the EXACT same thing with her son. Now our kids are attending the same school and are much, much happier. That is another thing, I am not snubbed or whispered at behind my back as often because I am the weirdo mom. That is a nice change!

I hate to say it folks, I never fully saw exactly to what the extent we were judged by the school administration as well as the other parents when Philip was attending the "super snobby school." In fact, I only had this epiphany recently since my kid is now at a different school where there are students from all walks of life.

It is a breathe of fresh air to walk into a school with without people staring at me, to have the staff make me feel welcomed and the principal who truly takes an interest in my son and his academics.  The kids who go to this school, come from all sorts of families and as a result, we are better accepted there. We never fit in with the rich snobby types either, there is a reason why we moved away from the suburbs when we grew up!

I don't have any sound advice to give fellow goth parents. I will not tone down to "fit in" but this was a harsh lesson that my family had to learn. It sucks.

On the upside, my kid is being treated like a kid, not some statistic so the school can boost about it's high level of success and academics. This gives me a chance to breathe.

For the record, would I stop dressing Goth because of this? Fuck no! I learned that no matter what I do as a parent, it will be scrutinized. I might as well give these bitches something good to talk about!

For the record, here is some fun before and after pics:


  1. Glad to hear your son is doing well in his new school! It's hard enough to be a goth well into your 30s with people expecting us to "grow out of it", I can't imagine what it's like to be a goth parent ((hugs))
    A woman in my local pagan community was actually harassed by other moms, they asked her not to wear her pentacle because they didn't want the kids to ask questions. I think most kids ask questions, get answers and move on; it's the adults who make a big deal about things and stir up drama and hateful ideas in their offspring.



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