Friday, 3 November 2017

Story time: Clubbing in the nineties as a baby bat.

Earlier today, I came across an article that was written by The Blogging Goth titled Abuse, Assault, and the Goth Scene. If you have not done so already, please read his article because I will not regurgitate everything he so eloquently wrote but would like to add my two cents:

I think it is important for us, as members of the Goth community to have discussions about sexual harassment. As much as I would like to think that sexual harassment does not happen in the Goth scene, let's be realistic here, it can. This is something I wish I could put my head in the sand about but out of respect towards any victims of sexual assault, I will not. After all, isn't this one of the MANY reasons why victims don't come forward?

Now, I would like to talk about MY local Goth community here in Montreal and MY experiences within it growing up. Now, that I am much older and with my health issues, I unfortunately do not venture out as much as I would like. Hopefully, this will change soon. I can comment about the Goth scene here in nineties when I was a baby bat myself because I obviously went out more when I was younger.

I started clubbing REALLY young. I like to think that it was thanks to some of my friends who were much, much older than I was who kinda let me in the clubs before I turned the legal age (which is 18 here)

Now this is important because at that age, I was VERY naive. I was too trusting. I did all sorts of things. I used to take all sorts of drugs (I am not proud of this) and I am being BRUTALLY honest here. Many times, I had no frigging clue where I was. I remember falling down on the dance floor because I started bad tripping on PCP. I am by no means implying I deserved to have anything happen to me, don't be silly, NO ONE deserves that but let's call a spade a spade here; I was probably an easy target because I was really fucking out of it at that time. Also, it can happen to anyone, not just to people being inebriated, I would like to point that out too just in case.

I was a reckless youth.  Not only did my older, much more mature Elder Goth friends helped get me off the drugs, encouraged me to finish high school, they looked out for me. Yes, I deserved to be kicked out of clubs for my behaviour. Instead, my best friend brought me back to her place until the drugs wore off.I like to think it is thanks to these people I am the less stupid but more sober person I am today.

 I never felt unsafe at a Goth club. I got to know the bouncers. Hell, one of them used to make sure my best friend and I got back to her place safely, and he even went out of his way to drive us home!

Fast forward to a few years later. I toned down for my job and went out for a few drinks with some of my female non-Goth coworkers after work on a Friday. We were on Crescent street (which some of us refer to as "The Meat Market") Not only do these places play HORRIBLE music, as the evening went on and the place started to get crowded, you have no idea how many times I had my ass grabbed. This confused me because shit like this never happened to me at a Goth club.The overall impression I had was that men were simply there to get laid. These men, sometimes twice my age, would surround us and stare at us to the point we felt awkward. You knew they were sizing you up and we felt like a piece of meat. Even while I was working, I would sometimes frequent a Goth club and I never made to feel like a piece of meat, in fact, my overall impression is that sort of behaviour is frowned upon at Goth clubs. I am quite certain the organizers of these events try their hardest to make sure that everyone is safe.

This is why it is important for us to look out for one and other. The Goth scene over here is a lot smaller than what it used to be. Looking back, when we did have weekly goth nights, I was safe. We are smaller than ever and it is much easier to look out for one and other these days.

I am so grateful for the people who looked out for me. I try to keep an eye on my friends too because you never know .Despite feeling safe during a Goth night, one of the many reasons why I am afraid to go out (without my husband) is the fear of coming home by myself.

I think it is important that we share our experiences with each other and we need to please look out for one and other. Be safe.


  1. I’ve heard of some instances of creepy people being kicked out of local Goth clubs which is good! I hope people will always look out for others and report anything questionable. I think a lot of kids go through the wild stage and they need others to watch out for them!

  2. Yeah... Shit that happened at a regular club would never happen at a goth club. At power electronic nights, there was a few times that I was literally the only girl on the dance floor and nothing ever happened to me. I think because the scene is so small that they were happy anyone was there lol. Goth nights are almost family friendly events but with nipple tape haha. Go to any place that's just a regular club...uggggghhhhh. they are basically dry humping you wtf

  3. Thank you for sharing your story <3

  4. A very timely post. I always feel MUCH safer at goth/alternative events but one must always be careful.



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